The Brewers Code

You must be a brewer for the Brewer’s Code to apply, and the code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules:

I. Every brewer has a vote in affairs of moment; has equal title to the freshly malted barley and high alpha acid hops, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity (not an uncommon thing among them) makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment.

II. The lights and candles to be put out at eight o’clock at night: if any of the crew, after that hour still remained inclined for drinking, they should do it at the brewery tap.

III. To keep their HLT, mash tun, and copper clean and fit for service.

IV. To desert the brewery or their duties on a brewday, is punished with death or maybe just indefinite brewmonkey duties.

V. No striking one another in real life, but every man’s quarrels to be ended on Twitter. (The quarter-master of Tweetdeck, when the parties will not come to any reconciliation, accompanies them to a public house with what assistance he thinks proper, and turns the disputant back to back, at so many paces distance; at the word of command, they turn and fire apologetic Retweets immediately, (or else their smartphone is knocked out of their hands).

VI. No brewer to talk of breaking up their way of living, till each has shared one thousand beers. If in order to this, any man should lose a liver in their service, he was to have eight hundred pounds (two bottle of four hundred pound monkey), out of the public stock, and for lesser hurts, proportionately.

VII. The owner and masterbrewer to receive two shares of a prize: the assistant brewers and dray men, one share and a half, and other monkeys one and quarter.

VIII. The brewers to have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favour.

(I’m happy to add new ‘rules’)

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